I started out as a daughter, granddaughter, niece then god child.
A year and a half later I was a sister.
10 years after that I became and aunt.
10 years after that, I became a Mama.
3 years after that, I became a wife, daughter in law and sister in law.
With my inlaws this past weekend.
My whole life, I've struggled with who I am. I never knew what I wanted to be. Who I wanted to be. My father left when I was 3. My parents had gotten divorced and he just stopped showing up for his weekends. It's hard growing up not knowing who you are. Where you came from. My mom received a letter from my father's old union a few weeks ago. They found out he had passed away. To say I've had a difficult time with this is an understatement.
I never knew him. I never knew his family. And now, it's too late. I've done a little digging on where he had been living. Any contact info has been disconnected or a dead end. Nothing on Facebook or Google. I'm the daughter of a ghost.
As frustrating as it's been and as many unanswered questions I have. It's better this way. I'm not his daughter. I belong to my Mother and her husband who adopted me and my brother. I get to define me without him. Without him tainting anything I'm trying to accomplish.
So who am I?
I'm Angelina. Mother, wife, badass, creep, sister, friend, chef, laundress, maid, nurse, belly scratcher, booger picker, HAPPY.